He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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