Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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