think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize