Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
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