It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
