she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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