isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
