Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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