She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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