somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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