Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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