I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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