If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
