i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
