I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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