Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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