some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
