remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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