Porn is love you can see.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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