I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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