I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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