ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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