Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i came on her dog
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
