I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
