This dress was meant to end up on your floor
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
