this boner is exhausting
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
