This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
