He disabled his match.com account in front of me
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
