a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
