Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
