every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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