And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
