she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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