She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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