I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
