whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Randomize
