dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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