so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We left the knife in your bed.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
