If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
