dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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