pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
There r osticjed everywhere
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Randomize
