maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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