Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
