i will never coherently bang her
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I currently don't understand fingers.
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