remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
