please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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