It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
