The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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