Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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