you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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