in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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