ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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