i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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