hotel room ftw
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
