My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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