Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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