I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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