I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
