Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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