Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize