No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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