I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
