But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
