It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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