Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
