Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize